Tuesday, February 24, 2015

A Note To My Amazing Daughter

Dear Lois,

Thank you for looking out for me. I appreciate that you want what's best for your daddy even if he doesn't realize it. It means a lot to me that if you think something is good for me you'll bring it to me.

But I don't want that duck sauce from the Chinese food last night. Especially the open one you fished out of the trash and then brought to me, dripping sauce all the way from the kitchen into the living room on the new carpet.

I really don't want your clean diapers brought out from your room. I want them more than I want that one dirty diaper you once brought so believe me when I say I'm not really complaining but if you could leave the diapers in your room it would mean a lot to me. Especially every diaper after the 50th, all brought out 2 at a time.

And you know, I love to cook but I don't need the spatula every 20 minutes. Maybe you're saying you're going stir crazy? I'm not sure but I do know that when I put the spatula away and said "Please don't bring it to me" I didn't actually mean "Bring it to me in a little while and then run away laughing like a maniac."

Your toys? Well, I know that I have resting jerk face but I promise that I'm perfectly happy! Daddy just looks upset, even though he's happy; that's just how daddy's face is normally. I'll be happy to play toys with you but unless we're playing together it's very unlikely that daddy is going to play with that rolling toy that pops the balls all over the place.

Thank you. I know you're trying to help and I appreciate it.

Now, if you could just stop? For a little while?




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