Thursday, August 29, 2013

This Will Be Interesting...

Daddy? Who's that?
This weekend I'm going away for the entire weekend. Friday afternoon to Monday afternoon, 3 hours away from hearth and home.


This will be the first time I've been away without the family since Lois was born.

I'm sure I'll be fairly busy during the days that I'm gone but it's going to be strange.

I'd be lying if I said I weren't looking forward to going out, making new friends, enjoying the game that I'm going to play. I'm definitely looking forward to some fun. That being said, I'm going to miss my ladies.

Here's hoping the little one takes really good care of her mommy while I'm gone!

I already miss them both.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Bring It On, World!

ROAR! Tee-hee!
Hands extended I charge, yelling at the top of my (inside voice) lungs, "I'm gonna get you, little girl!"

She turns around and faces me, screaming right back in my face and then charges me, giggling with the fierceness of a Mongol Horde (of adorable babies).

Normally I'd say that she doesn't yet understand what's going on, that she's "supposed" to run away when someone is coming to get her but a part of me hopes that this continues: Instead of running away, she charges into the fray to destroy her 'enemies.'

Thursday, August 22, 2013

I'm A Bad Dad. The Baby Says So.

Put down in her crib for a nap, Lois first acts peaceful and sucks at her bottle. We just got home from a nice walk on the Huckleberry Trail and she's warm, tired, and definitely in need of her 3 PM nap. Of course, after mommy walks away the little one realizes what's happening and vehemently disagrees that she needs a nap. In fact, she's not even tired.

Now, despite the fact that MOMMY put her in the crib, she cries out "Dad! Dadadada!" and I am fairly certain I also heard "Bad! Bad dadadada!"

I wouldn't say that that in and of itself makes me a bad father. No, not at all. Babies need some sort of structure in their lives and it is nap time and she is tired. I'm a good daddy for that.

No, what makes me a bad daddy is that I can't stop laughing at her chastising me. It's hilarious and I've let out several large guffaws at her.

Bad daddy. Bad. Bad dadada!


Wednesday, August 14, 2013


So Lois was climbing over a box that's on a slight tilt. It's not wobbly or anything. However, she was climbing in a standing position, getting her about half again her normal height, holding onto something to steady herself that's relatively safe if not exactly stable.

I watched from about four feet away while she did this, lost in her own little world and not noticing the abject terror on my face. I was certain that at any second she would lose her balance, fall, smash her head into the ground (I assured that there was nothing around her that she could hit on the way down other than said ground) and be permanently damaged.

I watched.

That's all I did.

I didn't stop her. I didn't get her attention in any way. I even turned away when I thought she might notice my watching and stop what she was doing because now she had daddy's attention.

I let her explore the world a little bit. She stepped off the box then back on several times, climbed it again and again, then got down, turned away, and laughed at her own little time of fun.

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think that's my actual job. I think my job here is to raise her right (for whatever version of "right" we may have), stop her from actually hurting herself, love her, and let her do things that absolutely terrify me when they most likely won't actually end up hurting her.

 I think I understand but folks? I'm terrified.

Feeding Time!

Not pictured: Cheese she just threw at/to the cats.
My little girl is growing up!

Proof of this? Well, she just had her yearly check-up so that we can have medical proof that we have a perfect 1-year-old baby who is, according to the Doctor* "Well-advanced and super-duper smart**."

More proof is needed?

Well, she's eating grown up foods now. She eats almost anything we put in front of her though it's obvious she has a few favorites.

On her plate today are bananas and some sharp cheddar cheese. She loves the cheddar cheese and tends to eat that first (minus the parts that she throws to the cats to show that she loves them) and then fills up whatever space is left with the banana. If I were to add hotdogs to the mix, she would go hotdogs, then cheddar cheese, then bananas.

If I added bacon she would eat the bacon and then beg for more, ignoring everything else on her plate.

Smart baby.

She has good taste in books...
She also loves story-time. She will grab one of her many "Hello" magazines (made by the same magazine company that makes "Highlights For Children"), bring the little magazine to me, hold it out and clearly say "Take this!"

No, seriously. I thought I was imagining things but she really can say "Take this" when she wants you to take something. It's insane. I thought that I was just being an overly-proud parent until we were at playgroup and she kept trying to shove a toy into a six-month-old's arms, yelling at her "Take this! Take this! TAKE THIS!" and then, in the end, dropping it on the baby's head and waddling away.

I should mention that it was a soft toy and the baby's mom thought it was hilarious.

As the final proof for how my child is showing HUGE improvement and being awesome I will point out that she has absolutely mastered the sippy cup.

She can spill it EVERYWHERE.

*I will capitalize the word "Doctor" so as to give her words even more importance in your mind.
**This may be paraphrasing. A little. But whatever the Doctor* actually said, this was what she meant. Honest!

Friday, August 9, 2013

Another For The List

So there's a new thing I never thought I would have to say to another human being of any age:

  • "Stop biting my laptop!"
She's like a Great White Shark, putting everything in the world that she comes across in her mouth, biting it, trying to find out if it's alive or inanimate.

I'm kind of afraid to cut myself shaving around her.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

In Brief

My little one has learned how to give "baby kisses" where she leans forward, mouth slightly open and kind of licks you with her tongue, then gets all happy that she gave you a "kiss." It's absolutely frigging adorable.

Yay, right?

She's learned just in time for us to start dog-sitting for our friends this week.

Does anybody know how I stop my baby from licking a dog's nose?

Monday, August 5, 2013

Well That's New....And Unacceptable

My sweet little child who can do no wrong except for when she does has come across a new strategy for getting daddy's attention and it's kind of terrifying to see how her little brain works.

The face of Pure Evil Genius.
Her new tactic goes something like this:

Step One: Try to get something I cannot have.

Step Two: Be stopped by evil daddy.

Step Three: Cry.

Step Four: Notice that daddy is not paying attention to my fake crying.

Step Five: Throw self into something solid and hit head or fall onto floor at weird angle.

Step Six: Cry real tears because that actually hurt.

Step Seven: Receive daddy attention. 

Step Eight: Gloat.

Step Nine: Be adorable so nobody believes daddy.

Saturday, August 3, 2013


Somehow this little girl has survived a full year of being raised by me and her mommy.


I can't believe how far we've come.
 She got hold of my camera yesterday. Instead of freaking out (since there's very little she could do to actually damage my camera with me right there watching her) I tried to show her how it worked.

As you can see, her composition is a little bit off but there's a huge improvement in her focus between the second and third pictures.

They grow up so fast!

So, happy birthday Little Miss Stubborn.

I love you so much and I look forward to taking pictures with you for the rest of my life. Or teaching you how to juggle. Or showing you that insects aren't as scary as they seem, even if your mommy screams squeaks when they land on her. Or any of the million things that we'll share. I look forward to it all.

I even look forward to finding out how you're going to turn all my hair gray or when you'll give me another heart attack.

I look forward to it all. Your mommy and I love you very much.

I hope that by the time you're bigger the internet still exists and hasn't been wiped away by the zombie apocalypse so that you can see this and know that we've loved you since the very beginning, even when your nickname (like this morning) is "Little Miss Stinky."

Happy birthday, little girl.

I love you.

Friday, August 2, 2013

Conversations With Myself

Me: "Lois, how did you get yogurt in your hair?"

Me: "Well, that's a stupid question. I did just give you freeze-dried yogurt for dessert and promptly stopped watching you as closely as I should have."

Me: "Okay, true, but I would still have expected it to go from the highchair table to her hand to her mouth, not to her hair."

Me: "That's because you're a little dumb sometimes. It's okay. You'll learn."

Me: "I will?"

Me: "Yup. Just in time for everything to change."

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Why I Wish I Had In-House Surveillance

My camera, daddy! Mine!
I wish I had cameras in every room of my house.

It's not that I'm paranoid that somebody is going to get into the house or anything*.

See, I want them to record my little girl so that the moments I can't capture on film (because they're too quick and happen before the camera's even on, or I can't find the camera, or a whole bunch of reasons that are similar) are captured for sharing. Sometimes she somehow makes herself even more adorable than normal and I'll probably never be able to share those moments.

Here are a few examples:

  • She was holding a baby-babble conversation at the grocery store today. With a cardboard cutout of another baby.
  • Looming over her toys she started to growl at them menacingly.
  • Having 'escaped' from the baby-safe area in the house she looks over her shoulder to see if I'm following and then scampers away at high speeds, laughing like a maniac.
  • She sees herself in a mirror and immediately goes in and gives the mirror a baby kiss**.
  • At the store she sees another baby and stares for a while quietly. As we pass the (younger) baby who is not paying attention, she shrieks, startling the baby, and then grins widely because suddenly she has the attention of the (now crying) baby***.

Hmm. Now that I think about it maybe what we need is a camera crew to follow us around at all times since this happens out in the wild too.

I'll get right on that.

*Well, I am, and often come home and check the closets and under the bed to make sure nobody is hiding there but that's besides the point and not why I want cameras in the house.
**You know, the kind with a huge open mouth, tongue hanging out, licking and slobbering? Kind of like a teenager, I guess, but cuter. (That joke's for Aunt Amanda.)
***Okay, this one may only be cute/funny to me and the other baby's mom who found it hilarious because, apparently, her daughter had JUST done the exact same thing to another child. (She was quickly able to quiet her child who was not permanently scarred by the incident, I promise.)