Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Tummy Torture Time

As she slams her face into the floor with the speed of an African Swallow (unladen) smashing into a window I start to think that maybe this was a bad idea. The third or fourth time she does it, tears spilling down her face and her little cries issuing forth I'm sure this was a bad idea.

But the doctors tell us we have to do it. It's not my fault little girl, and if you read this some day in the future I hope you realize the reason you hate laying on your stomach as an adult is because the doctors made me make you hurt yourself. I swear.

Not my fault!
I hate hearing her cry and so tummy time doesn't happen as often as I'm told it should. Every time she's put down on the floor it follows an inevitable pattern:

1. Hold head up and scoot legs happily for about 5 to 10 seconds.

2. Start to get upset and let the world know it with some small-time, doesn't-even-bother-daddy-or-mommy-anymore crying.

3. Slam face into ground.

4. Pick face up and cry.

5. Repeat 3 and 4 several times.

6. Hate daddy.

And then one of the other of us wonderful parents swoops in to save her, plies her with some food, and within an hour or two she forgives us and will look at us again without seething hatred in her beautiful (still blue) eyes.

The doctors suggest tummy time every day and so I have to start doing that. I've put it off. But, see, the other day a stranger asked me if my little girl is rolling over yet and when I said "not yet" she told me how her 2 and a half month old could roll over and it was so precious!

Oh, we can't have that. Nobody can be better at something than my little girl! My little girl must win ALL the arguments!

So, of course, I told her how my little girl is in the babbling developmental stage of speech already and how the other day she stood straight with just her hand holding my large finger. Take that lady I don't know!

What? Isn't parenthood a competition?

And for those that want to hear my little baby-girl cry (you sickos), here is tummy time from yesterday. The video is short but gives you the idea:

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