Monday, November 12, 2012

Sometimes Things Get A Little Strange....

Dads and moms, sometimes things get weird as a parent and I'm here to let you know that that's okay.

Sometimes the weirdness is your reaction to something like being happy about poop, sometimes it's just the things you say and how weird they would sound to an outsider like my post Parenting or Porn, and sometimes it's a third nipple.

Poop! Poop everywhere!

  1. Let's start at TMI and just get worse from there: Yesterday I said "Yay! You pooped!" and was genuinely happy. Our little girl hadn't pooped for several days and we were on the verge of calling a doctor. Then she almost literally exploded with poop. And we were happy about it. Happy. About poop. Poop! (Especially me, who wasn't here at the time and didn't have to clean it up.)
  2. Along the lines of "things you say that are weird" I found myself, today, saying "We don't have enough nipples in this household!" Weird enough but then I added "Which, considering between the 3 of us there are seven, is saying a lot!" Now in the first half of that I was talking about bottle nipples and the second half I was talking about....
  3. Apparently if you ask your baby's doctor "why does it look like my baby has an extra nipple" they will calmly reply "because your baby has an extra nipple." So, yeah. That happened. Which, you'd think that would be the weirdest thing, right? You'd be wrong.
    1. So, lesson to be learned: Babies are weird in more ways than you'll ever plan for as a parent. You'll say strange things, see strange things, and be in strange places before you know it.
  4. A while back I said that there was something I was not allowed to blog about. I asked Laura about it and she said "No. Absolutely not." And while I didn't necessarily agree with her choice I understood it; the thing that was going on was weird and I could see her feeling weird about sharing it. Then the thing stopped happening and I got permission to blog about it.

    Our baby lactated and had little tiny baby boobies. It was very, very strange and kinda discomforting. It went away and we were all happy. Apparently it has to do with hormones from mom being transferred in the breast milk and is, according to doctors and Wikipedia, "perfectly normal." DEFINE "NORMAL." I'm pretty sure "milk coming from the baby's nipples" is NOT in that definition.

    It's even called "Witch's Milk." No, seriously. Look it up (or don't) and see that I'm not lying! And they call that "normal." NORMAL. Blows. My. Mind.

    But it's done now. It's over with. No more milk, no more baby boobs, and even the third nipple is fading into nothingness. I'm allowed to share the story because now it's just "something that happened a while back and no big deal." When it was happening though? No.

    Good luck!
And those of you who have already gone through this, I ask you: What is the weirdest thing that ever happened with your baby? Maybe it was something you said, something you did, something the baby did? What else should I be on the lookout for?

EDIT: I posted this and within 20 minutes Laura sent me the following via Facebook:
Laura: This implies that it is entirely possible to have a range of extra nipples. All on the same body
Laura: a la the rows of nipples found on other mammals
Laura: Like cats

Like I said...things get weird.


  1. TIL: "Although usually presenting on the milk line, pseudomamma can appear as far away as the foot" Reference:


    1. I'm learning way more today than I've ever wanted to learn about extra nipples.

  2. Nope, nothing weird ever happened with Amy. Not until the teen years, anyways. Maybe you're just getting all the weird shit over with early on and the teen years will be a breeze!

    No, wait.. this baby came out of Laura. You're screwed.

  3. the weirdest? Well, you're past it, but, my baby had an outie belly button for about 1-2 years and then just grew around it. Bathing suits fit better after that! If anyone tells my kids I revealed that…I WILL deny it!! To answer the second part of your query-what you should be on the lookout for is joy, joy, joy-especially with you two as parents!

  4. Our girl had fuzzy ears for several months. And I really do mean fuzzy as in a much hair as her head (long peach fuz). And she has an extra baby tooth; that is totally 'normal' too!

  5. Oh and all babies have extra nipples. Usually they are gone before birth. In womb, babies go through 'evolutionary' stages and they all start 'girls' so boys actually have a scar where things fuse together. It's pretty strange but then they come out looking like, well, a baby!