Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Flight of the Baby

If you've traveled a few times by plane then you've been there. You've seen them get on. You've thought to yourself "Oh, dear Lord, my eardrums are about to be blasted."

People with babies on planes.

I think there is a special level in hell for the worst of people where they are strapped into seats that are too small, with no legroom, and the sound of a screaming baby piped directly next to them. They can't fall asleep, they can't get comfortable, and that baby just won't ever stop screaming. This guy will probably go to that level.

So you can imagine my terror as we boarded the flight from NC to GA, baby in tow. I thought, for sure, we were in for a long, horrible flight. I figured the GA to TX flight would be even worse. We were going to be "those people" bringing their seven month old daughter onto the airplane, making everyone's experience the worst flight they've ever had.

Imagine my surprise when she slept. Soundly. Both flights.

Like mommy, like baby.
 Oh sure, she woke up once or twice, and takeoff was a little jarring, but not a peep came forth from her lips. Not a single cry. She sucked on a bottle or slept, taking after her mommy.

Now, something that you might not know is that daddy (that would be me) is a nervous jet passenger. I don't like being in planes, and I would rather take a bus, train, car, or walk.

She really liked chewing on the cup.
However, that's sometimes implausible. So, daddy's job on this flight was to remain calm and not squish the baby he was holding when the plane hit turbulence.

Now, if you've never flown you don't know the real horror of turbulence. The plane slips, it slides, you can feel it fall hundreds of feet in a second as it hits a patch of lower pressure air. Simply put, it's terrifying.

And if you have flown you know that what I wrote isn't true at all and it's just like going over a patch of rough road, hitting a couple of potholes in the sky. However, it feels like what I put above, and I'd like to point out that no pothole in the world is 30,000 feet deep. Thank you.

So here I am, holding sleeping baby, trying not to crush her while mommy and baby sleep soundly. I'm tired (we were up at 4:00 AM) and all I really want to do is go to sleep or at least relax.

Me, being absolutely fine.
I was absolutely fine.

1 comment:

  1. I hate flying, also because of turbulence. You're a better man than I!