Friday, April 5, 2013

My Baby Genius (or "My EVIL Baby Genius")

Lois has been well-versed in holding her own bottle for several months now. I taught her very early to reach out and hold the bottle in her hands while drinking from it, knowing that this skill would save us having to hold it constantly every day for several months. This meant I could hold her in the crook of my arm while she held her own bottle, leaving my hands free to hold the XBox 360 controller.

Don't judge me.

Lately she seems to be testing us. She'll be obviously hungry, reach out for the bottle, and then retract her tiny hands as soon as the bottle is in her mouth, looking at me as though to say "What are you going to do about it? You hold it now."

If I dare to let go, even gently placing it somewhere so that it's held in her mouth, she will turn her head, dislodging the bottle, and then cry that I've now taken away her food source. I am suddenly a bad daddy because I won't hold her bottle for her, something I haven't had to do in probably 4 months or more.

(Speaking of which, she just threw her bottle on the floor. I'll be right back.)

I place it gently back in her mouth and her hands are held as far away as she can get them from the bottle, literally, as though she knows exactly what I want from her and she has decided to show me that there is absolutely no way I can get her to do what we both know I want her to do.

At 8 months old* she is already learning the fine art of parental manipulation. It takes a lot of will to just keep placing the bottle back in place, not holding it there, as she cries about how horrible of a dad I am.

She is evil.

We'll get along well when she grows up, I think.

Seen here: The face of pure evil. In monkey sleepwear.

*Oh my dear sweet lord Superman. How is she already 8 months old?


  1. One of my coven sisters has a 9 month old boy. His favored form of adult manipulation right now is throwing his bottle (or anything, really) on the floor as many times as he can to see how many times we're willing to bend over and pick it up for him. Evidently its a hilarious game, at least to him. ;)

    1. Oh, she thinks that's a great game too except that we are HORRIBLE parents and will actually leave it on the ground for a few minutes while she is sitting there STARVING! Because we don't love her enough.

      That's HER spin on it, anyway.