Thursday, April 11, 2013

There's Supposed To Be A Video Here

Let's pretend there's a video right here and that it's of my baby babbling away while swinging in her swing. She's saying things like "Ba ba ba" and "Ga ga ga" or even, maybe, "Da da da." It's adorable and you love it because my daughter is so amazingly cute.

Now let's talk about what really happened and why my baby is a jerk.

She's swinging in her swing this morning, back and forth, back and forth, babbling to herself. It's amazingly adorable. I take out the camera from the other side of the room, turn it toward her and hit the record button.

She falls asleep.

No, seriously. Her eyes close immediately as I hit the record button and the only noise she's making is the faintest whisper of her breathing. Now, I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth; sleeping baby means I can clean the house*, make a grocery list*, and generally get my chores done.* Yay!

I turn off the camera and within seconds her eyes snap open, she starts babbling and she's not tired at all. My eyes narrow a I look at this scene with disbelief but hey, she's babbling again so I should grab a video of it to show Mommy, if not the entire world.

I turn on the camera and point it at her without hitting record. She smiles, coos, babbles, and continues entertaining herself in the swing. It's adorable. I hit record and she stops everything. She lays back, looking up at the ceiling without doing anything. Someone watching the video would think that I'm recording a doll, she's moving so little.

I record for a good 15 seconds, hoping she'll snap back into action, but nothing, so I turn the camera off, put it down, and turn away.

That's when I hear, from behind me, this little jerk say "Da da da da."


*Play video games.

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