Some Conversations

After telling a story about how I threw something at the baby -

Laura: "You mean you threw it TO her, right?"

Me: "No. You have seen far too much at this point for me to lie to you. I throw stuff AT her."

Laura: *Silently glaring at me*

Me: "It's SOFT stuff!"

After a few moments thought I had to expand on that last thought for honesty's sake -

Me: "Well, to be honest I should have said that I only throw soft stuff at her head."

I then wandered away innocently while Laura shot me a look that I am SURE would have melted my eyeballs out of my head had I been looking.

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After throwing something at the baby from across the room and scoring a direct hit while Laura was not looking -

Me: "Direct hit! Right in the fac-um-chest! Whoo!"

Laura: "Uh-huh. Good save there because I totally didn't hear you say face, first."

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Laura is sitting at her work desk, working hard on her day's tasks while I'm chatting with the baby -

Me: "Hey now, no crying or I'll slap you with this sock!"

Laura: "What did you just say?!"

Me: "You're working and can't hear me!"

I use this often in order to get out of trouble. Somehow she doesn't see my logic and it often doesn't work as well as it should.