Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Additions and Actualization

I have a couple of additions to this list:

  • The baby is "feeding," not "getting on her Mom Nom Nom."
  • A pump for breastmilk cannot, under any circumstances, be replaced by a wet/dry vac.
  • Do not compare raising a newborn to raising a puppy; the glare you'll receive will be epic.
 Now for another list, one that may actually help you when dealing with your newborn:
  • Babies DO like music. They like to be sung to even if your singing ability sucks. My little girl loves Goodnight Demon Slayer by Voltaire.
    • If your baby cries when you sing she is NOT singing along.
  •  If your baby seems to be pooping a lot then you might want to try the tried and true method of "deal with it." Newborns poop. No, let me rephrase that: Newborns void their bowels with the regularity of something that happens regularly and more often than you think it would.*
  • Babies aren't so great at being subtle. When they look away from you during their awake and quiet time** this is the baby's signal that they're done with you. They may still want your warmth and cuddles but your sparkling personality is wearing thin on them at that moment.
    • Don't let this hurt your feelings; babies have short memories and will completely forget whatever it was you were doing that annoyed them within the next minute or so. Probably.
  • My baby is cuter than yours.
    • What?
Tomorrow I'm going to have Lois introduce herself and you'll actually get to see a picture of my little girl; it's one of the first pictures ever taken of her.

*Like crossing your legs or blinking in a Haboob.***
**The whole 2 minutes that they're both awake AND quiet in a day.
***Heh. Boob.


  1. HAHAHAHAH no, living with a TODDLER is like having a puppy. Specifically a corgi puppy. Those bastards can climb furniture (i'm referring to the dogs!)

    - Margaret

    1. Corgis are adorable, energetic, and hell-on-wheels. I'm completely expecting Lois to be the same in a few years!