Sunday, August 12, 2012

Baby Rules

Inspiration for this list comes from "The Story About the Baby" and discussions with Laura about certain rules that will be necessary for me to follow in the coming year. Sadly, I am certain that I will have to add to this list.

A Few Rules:
  • Do not clean the baby in the dishwasher
    • Or any kind of "auto wash" for that matter
  • Do not use the baby for Linguistic experimentation
    • Especially if you can't explain the reason for the experiment beyond "but, wouldn't it be cool?!"
  • Do not throw the baby into the fires of Mt. Doom
  • Adult time between mom and dad is not reason enough to ignore a crying baby
    • Do not nickname the baby "cockblocker"
  • The baby is NOT "just like a big fish"
    • Do not teach the baby to swim using the fish tank
  • Sneezing on the baby is bad, even if "she started it" 
  • If the baby cries at night the proper response is not "you're closer!"
    • Snoring louder is also unacceptable
  •  When mom is breastfeeding it is considered impolite to attempt to get her "in the mood"
      • see also "cockblocker"

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