Thursday, August 16, 2012

Things Not To Say

Men, if you'd like to keep your head during the pregnancy and shortly thereafter, here are a few things you'll want to avoid saying:

  • If the nurse says "I know we said that your baby will be a girl but we think we might see something else and she might be a he" you should not say: "Hey hon, at least her name changes easily to a boy's name!" (Lois to Louis)
  • When she's having a contraction and you can see it on the monitor you don't have to tell her; she knows. Believe me, she knows.
  • "Wow sweety, I've never seen anyone projectile vomit that far!" (Note: Okay to say later but not during.)
  • "Guess who's stinky! Here you go, hon!"
  •  It's "breastfeeding" and "pumping." Under NO circumstances are you to refer to it as "milking."
Keep these tips in mind and you might survive.


  1. It's almost like a guide to surviving a zombie apocalypse. Coincidence?

    I think not! :D

  2. Also, I really wish this thing would stop posting me as "Unknown"


  3. This would only be funny if posted at 5:49 am.... :)

    1. I wish I had done it at 5:49 AM. I was awake...

  4. Replies
    1. I'm trying to make sure that other men or significant others who are not giving birth don't make the same mistakes I made. They can make their own completely unique mistakes!