Warning: Pictures of Adorable, Descriptions of Gross

The pictures you are about to see have absolutely nothing to do with the words I'm writing. You're welcome.

She saw me put on a glove and then tried it for herself!

Tonight was the first night that I've woken up, sure something was wrong with my little girl.

Well, no.

Tonight is the first night I've woken up feeling that something was wrong with Lois that I've been right.

I heard her coughing and at first worried she was choking but then heard her continue breathing. For some reason that wasn't enough for me to feel comfortable going back to sleep. I literally broke out in a cold sweat.

She does the same with mommy's shoe all the time!

Now, I've checked on her so many times in the last year and a half that it has gotten kind of ridiculous so I try telling myself that it's okay, that nothing's wrong, and that I should go back to sleep. I fought against the urge to go check her for about twenty minutes before I finally gave in.

A stench hit me as I walked into her room.

The poor girl had thrown up all over her bed. I won't go so far as to describe it but trust me when I say that it was gross.

One thing about me is that I don't do well with bodily fluids. I've learned to deal with poop and pee through repeated exposure (ugh) but this had me clutching at my own stomach immediately.

I did what any 30-something man would do: I called mommy in to handle it.

Just chillin'.

I whisked Lois away to the bath and Laura cleaned up the crib.

I know, I know. She needs her sleep, yes. I would totally have let her sleep, too, if I could have handled it on my own. Instead I needed to make it a team effort.

Honestly? I'm hoping this is something I never get used to due to repeated exposure.

The little one is okay, if you're worried. She's fine.

If I fits, I sits!

After a nice warm bath with two or three shampooings* and going out in the cold to get her Pack n Play from the car she's comfortably resting in our room, snuggled up with a cup of grape-flavored Pedialyte.

Yum.

And me? I'm up for the day.

An inauspicious beginning to today. Let's hope it brightens up from this point forward.

Poor girly.

*I hope that I will be able to get the image of what her hair looked like before the bath out of my head some day. Otherwise I'll never be able to look at my daughter again without feeling slightly queasy.**

**I joke, I joke.***

***Mostly.