While she was sleeping I put laundry in the washer downstairs, thinking I'd have an hour or so which meant, of course, that she woke up in the next twenty minutes. No big deal. I'd put her in her chair, give her some food, and change the laundry over to the dryer while she ate.
Sure, I don't like leaving her alone for even just a few minutes but she'd be fine. The food was safe, she'd be locked in her chair unable to get into trouble, and I'd only be gone for about five minutes.
I came back to a little girl, face caked in tears and snot, red-faced, sad and alone.
I am the worst daddy, ever. I feel horrible.
Poor little girl thought I left her here alone. Of course she didn't understand that I'd only be a few minutes. All she saw was me walk out the door, saying something that she didn't understand, and then not come right back inside.
I am a horrible father.
You're not the worst. Believe me, there are worse.
ReplyDeleteOh, I suppose I know I'm not the worst and that there are much, much worse out there. It's just a horrible feeling, realizing the distress that I put my daughter in by leaving her here alone, not understanding why daddy's not coming back when called.
DeleteI appreciate the kind words.