Picture Friday!

I call these first two photos "Quick, honey, grab the camera!"

First you take the picture, then you rescue the baby and whatever their object of desire/destruction might be.

That's parenthood in a nutshell, right?

 On this one I'll admit to a bit of a fail:

See that thing she's chewing on?

That used to be one of the ends of a blind.

She pulled it off while I was snapping pictures of her and I didn't even notice until she started chewing on it.

Every now and then I can get her to keep her bow in her hair so that she can see the world around her.

 Nap time! That time when daddy gets to sit back, relax, and put up posts on his blog!

This picture may or may not have been taken less than 20 minutes ago. I'm not telling.

 This contraption that Lois is sitting/bouncing on looks like a long inflatable balance beam. Apparently it's a bouncy thingy. I know this because Lois has shown me how to properly use it.

She bounced on this thing for almost a full hour the other day.

Then she took a nap.

I like this bouncy thingy.

She LOVES running.

 LOVES IT!

 Grammy Pam came over yesterday and hung out with us for a while. I snapped this picture without them noticing until after it was taken. To date it's my favorite picture of the two of them together.

After an hour and a half of hard play at Romp n' Roll, she chilled out like this watching the other kids play for a good ten minutes.

A Few Small Things

Lois has started counting. She'll usually start at "two" and goes as high as "nine" but never starts at "one." She showed me this new talent the other day as we were climbing down the stairs. She started with "two, three" and when she hit "four" I realized that, no, she really WAS counting!

My cheer when she said "seven" startled her enough that she stopped counting.

Whoops.

___

Our upstairs neighbor calls Lois "Lo-lo." I don't know why this bothers me so much but it annoys me like a piece of burdock in my shoe.

This is the same lady who said, upon first seeing Lois, "I'm just going to sneak in and kidnap her!"

Laura assures me that this woman is just a friendly, lonely old woman and that I was right to not immediately go all Papa Bear on her.

___

A new development as of a couple weeks ago that I forgot to mention, and a shout-out to Lauren Filing-Jointly, who is awesome and you should be reading. She has a new little one too, so go congratulate her!

And read her because she's hilarious. I said so.

Friday Picture Post

The little one ponders the Universe while in her car seat, which is in the house due to having needed a thorough cleaning.

"Does that make it a house seat?" She wonders.

Too cool for school, she loved her foray outside!

The snow has since melted, sadly, and now the ground is naught but mud.

Yeah. She pulls the chair out on her own now and climbs up.

I'm totally not worried about her falling. Nope, not at all. Seeing just this picture didn't make me worry about it again. Nuh-uh. Definitely not.

I have to be honest: She loved having her car seat in the house so much that I'm half tempted to get her a second one just for in the house.

I'm not going to but I'm tempted!

Dear daughter,

Please give me back my camera until you learn how to take a picture properly.

And by "properly" I do not mean simply "in focus" otherwise this would be a great picture.

Thanks.

Wednesday Morning Quickies

I put the little one down for some afternoon baby-quiet time (she doesn't have to nap, but she spends an hour in her crib doing whatever she wants; playing with toys, reading a book, etc) and she was very adamant that it was not time for baby quiet time. As I left she immediately launched into her litany against her father:

"Bad dad! Dad, no! Dad bad! Dad, dad, dad, bad, bad, no, dad, bad!"

After a few minutes of railing against the system she began making noises that indicated she was reading a book I had put in there with her. After a few minutes though she had one more thing to yell. I swear it was "Butthead!"

~~~

A friend of mine sent me this link to 32 More of the CREEPIEST Things Ever Said by Kids, a post written by Single Dad Laughing, one of my new favorite blogs. Even if you don't want to be severely creeped out by how creepy kids are, I suggest you go to the blog and read a bunch of the other stuff he has up there!

The other night (speaking of creepy kids), Lois woke up and was calling out "Dad! Dad! Dad!"

I got up, checked her diaper, and since it was fine decided we would cuddle for a few minutes before I would put her back to bed (it was 3 AM at this point). I sat in the chair, at which point she pulled her head back, put her hand on my chin and looked deep into my eyes.

She leaned in and whispered "Bye-bye, daddy."

~~~

Lois climbs up onto things now. A lot. She's like a tiny, slow-moving parkour artist.* The other day I "looked away for a second**" and when I looked back she was standing on top of our dining room table, dancing.

I'd just like everyone to acknowledge that there is not a picture of this here because I am a good daddy and instead of picking up my camera, I went and saved my baby.

Thank you.

*Credit to my friend Adam Danoff for the phrase.
**This is the equivalent to telling your insurance agent that the other guy "came out of nowhere." It's your fault. You were not paying enough attention. It still has to be said though, of course.

The Never-Ending Cry: "It's Not Fair!"

Every parent hears it. Every parent dreads it.

Every parent says it:

"It's not fair!"

I get out of bed, most mornings, between 6 AM and 6:30 AM. This isn't so I can get ready to go to a job or so I can secretly clean the house before my two favorite ladies wake up. No.

This is because I like a little me time in the morning. I like to get up to an empty house, take my shower, relax, catch up on some blogs, and maybe play a few quick games here and there.

This morning, Lois was awake before me and would not be soothed back to sleep.

It's not fair!

Yes, logically, I know that it's ridiculous to expect that Lois will sleep in until 7:45 every morning, giving me almost two hours of time to relax but there's a little part of my brain that insists that that is my time, and she can't have it!

It's not fair!

On the plus side, of course, this means I get subjected to some cuteness early in the morning. It's not that I mind sharing the time with her; it's just that I mind sharing the time at all. Yes, it's true that normally all she wants at this

point is to curl up on my lap, suck her thumb, and watch some tv but...but...

It's not fair!

On the up side, of course, there's the fact that she went down for her nap an hour early. Maybe she'll stay down for that nap until her normal wake up time, giving me an extra hour?

Whoops. Never mind. Crying baby woke up after an hour of being down and is showing no signs of going back to sleep.

Say it with me, folks:

It's not fair!

First Time In The Snow

 Lois prepared for our outing with a few stretches first.

Either that or she hadn't yet figured out how to walk in the boots.

Probably the second one.

It was cold but she wouldn't keep her mittens on so we just limited the amount of time outside.

I'm becoming a parent. I was all like "Put your hood up and get some mittens on! It's cold out there!"

 I really like this picture of mommy-giant and little-Lois.

 Still a bit unsteady on her feet but she wanted to explore!

Friday Picture Post: Random!

 I'm a bit out of words at the moment so please just enjoy these adorable photos that are from so many different parts of Lois' life.

I hope you enjoyed this trip down random memory lane.

No, Really, Please: Take A Nap!

I swear I didn't tell her that Santa's not real.

I love my adorable and amazing little daughter more than words can accurately express, you should never doubt that. She and her mommy the center of my world and all I want at this point is to make sure that they are both happy.

That being said, allow me to be horrible and selfish for a minute.

Some days, much like today, she's high-energy and low tolerance when I'm low-energy and low tolerance. She cries at the slightest offense and has started throwing the proverbial "hissy fit" over seemingly anything.

Did daddy brush the milk she was holding? Better throw it on the floor in anger and then follow it to the floor, screaming at the top of her lungs while flailing her arms.

Did the kitty run away from her? Better cry and scream.

Did daddy put a blanket over her feet to try and make sure she was nice and warm? Better reward him by trying to throw herself off the couch face-first, then run over and beat her face into the (soft and cushioned) chair while crying and snotting all over the place.

If I were a little higher energy, had a little more tolerance today (like I normally do), it wouldn't be a big deal at all. Today though it just all seems like, well, not "too much" but very much on the edge.

Not horrible. Not like I need to call in the reinforcements.

No, just like I need to put her down for her nap half an hour early so that both of us can relax a bit.

Except.

Except that after 5 minutes of peace she started crying. Then she started kicking the wall. The the wailing started. I checked on her at this point, afraid her foot was caught in the slats or something.

Nope. As soon as I came around the door she smiled at me, stood, and said "Up!"

Since I've started writing this she's calmed down. She's still awake and talking but not upset. It's getting close to her actual nap time so maybe she'll go off to sleep; either way, a little baby quiet time won't hurt her or me.

I'm far from perfect, no matter how I may portray myself here. I don't talk here often about days like today but they happen. I'm pretty sure they happen to everyone. Pretty sure.

Right?

My Daughter, Cousin It

I think it's about time for her first haircut, what do you think?

Picture Friday: Extra Large Edition!

Continuing in the tradition of sitting in anything she can fit in, here we see Lois sitting in the doll crib hand-made for her by Uncle Jim.

She really loves it but she doesn't understand why we keep putting her dolls in it.

I walked into the room to check on her to find her like this, "reading" a book propped up on the table.

 I remember, not all that long ago, when she encountered her first climbing wall. She couldn't even walk yet but that climbing wall held some draw to her and I knew that some day she'd be climbing.

She can now get halfway up this climbing wall before asking for daddy's help.

 Speaking of asking for daddy's help, today she climbed down these tumble cylinders on her own for the first time, without ever looking for any help from daddy.

Is there a word for being proud while also being slightly sad because you know an era of some kind just ended/began?

That's how I felt while taking this picture.

 Romp n' Roll has added a few new things and this is one of her favorites. I'm pretty sure she's using it wrong but I won't tell her that; she loves it the way she plays with it (and when she curls up in it to take a 5 second nap) so I'm okay with it.

 I am not a bad dad.

Stop looking at me like that.

Moments after this picture was taken I threw a green rubber ball at her and bounced it off her belly.

Seriously, why do people keep looking at me like that?

She laughed. I swear!

 I was moments too late on the draw of the camera to catch her sitting in her folded-up tunnel but she was sitting in it, playing with her Mega-Bloks.

 I think my daughter is in some kind of baby gang. She often flips me gang signs.

Or she's actually learning the American Sign Language that I'm trying to teach her.

I'm hoping for the latter but she's trouble so I'm watching for signs of baby-gang-related activity.

 Sitting with mommy she's at peace, relaxed, and a perfect angel. She absolutely loves when she can snuggle up with mommy, especially in the lackadaisical mornings.

And I'm pretty sure mommy treasures every stolen snuggle moment, too.

Let's take a vote: Haircut or no haircut?

It doesn't matter how the vote goes; mommy has already voted "no" so "no haircut" wins!

Congratulations for everyone who was going to vote "no haircut," you win!

I love this photo. Mom and Lois are on their way into Romp n' Roll, holding hands, walking into the parking lot.

It's the first time I've really seen them walking hand-in-hand like that and it made me squee a little.

Yes. I squee. Deal with it.

Lois will have to.

There are cat ears on her coat. CAT EARS.

Far too adorable.

Here we see the rare "Crying Lois" in the wild. Why is Lois crying, you might ask? Well that's simple:

Daddy is horrible.

Daddy has no idea what he did to make her cry but he's sure it was his fault somehow.

(Two minutes later we were snuggled on the couch, watching Bubble Guppies.)

"If I fits, I sits."

Stop Laughing

I told Laura a story about what the little one did to me yesterday and I started it with the same disclaimer that I'm going to give you now:

The story was not that funny. Stop laughing. It's not funny. Knock it off. You're a horrible person.

That being said, I have two stories to share:

Yesterday Lois had avocado for lunch. It's one of her favorite lunches and the fact that she tears into it with abandon makes the mess (usually it gets in her hair) well worth it.

She dropped some on the floor so I went over, got down on my knees, and started picking up the mess from the floor around her. While I was down there Lois started giggling and suddenly I felt her hand push against my bald head. Her hand, full of avocado. She smeared it into my skin, laughing.

I guess she thought that since it was in her hair, it would help me grow some hair?

--------------

Today I was in the hallway closet sorting through some stuff, standing in the doorway. Lois came up behind me and even though the closet isn't baby-safe I figured it was fine since there was no way she would be able to get past me.

It got really dark when she closed the closet door behind me and ran down the hallway, squealing.

My daughter tried to lock me in the closet.

She's Too Smart For My Own Good

I snuck into her room when she got quiet, expecting trouble but instead...

Yesterday as I was cleaning the house, Lois was helping make a mess, to keep me busy. There were some cups on the table and she knocked one off the table and onto the ground right at her feet. Since I'm trying to teach her to clean up (and she often does help*) I got her attention and said "Now, Lois. You knocked down the cup, so I need you to pick it up please."

Looking at me she moved around the table, now about five feet away from where she had knocked down the cup. She looked at me, then bent over to peer under the table at the cup, looked back at me, pointed at the cup and said, very clearly, "It's too far."

She continued to play as I sat there thunderstruck. When I could think again, I laughed so hard I think I hurt something.

Life is going to be interesting with this little one around.

*For some degree of help that includes taking things out of where they belong at least as much as putting things back into where they belong.